I found Debra Mazda and ShapelyGirl Fitness at a point where I needed it most in my life. I was recently dumped by my first love and tipping the scales at close to 350 pounds. My ex was kind enough to use the fact that I had never succeeded in losing weight for the 2 and a half  years we were together as one of his reasons for leaving me. When I was on my own I made a decision that I couldn’t stay how I was. I was so unhappy and unhealthy. I had seen a discount ad for classes at ShapelyGirl Fitness before and I decided to look into it further. My best friend and I decided to come one night and check out the weight loss support group that was held at ShapelyGirl on Tuesday nights. We felt so welcomed, I loved the atmosphere. Everyone was so warm and loving towards us…we signed up for memberships that night. It has been a long road since then and I have had my ups and downs but I am down 70 pounds so far and I know I’m doing it the right way with Debra’s help…slow and steady. I’m not always perfect, I’ll never be, but I have learned not to allow myself to get lost in my mistakes. In prior weight loss attempts I’d give up so easily. I’d get to a certain point and gain all the weight and more back. This time I am beyond any point of weight loss I had achieved before and I know I never could’ve done it if I hadn’t found ShapelyGirl Fitness. I used to hate to exercise, I would get angry and quit at the first drip of sweat, the first twinge of pain. I’m doing things I never thought I’d be able to do. Coming to the gym is a happy time for me, I get to see my friends, we laugh and dance and actually have fun working out. At this gym I get unparalleled love and support…what other gym can you say that about? Whether you live across the country and connect with Debra only through Facebook and her DVDs or you are fortunate enough to be able to physically attend her gym….The ShapelyGirls are a family and I know I’d never have succeeded the way I have anywhere else. Here’s to another 70 pounds and beyond…. I have immeasurable amounts of love and gratitude for Debra and all the ShapelyGirls! We can do it! Colleen

Feeling fat, is it real?

Have you ever felt fat? If so, join the millions of women of all shapes/sizes who go through this on a daily basis.   

You lost weight and try on some new clothes in a smaller size but you are feeling fat and hating everything in the store.  You have to lie on the bed because you cannot zipper a pair of pants that fit yesterday due to water retention, or perhaps your hormones are fluctuating and everything feels tight and doesn’t look good. Too many carbs getting the best of you? 

This thinking can snowball into thoughts of ‘I am ugly, fat and nobody loves me’ and this can certainly lead into an eating frenzy.  Now you think you have every right to feel fat and fatness starts to become your reality.  While you may think this is extreme thinking this behavior is reality for a lot of women.  This is how quickly we can act out our thoughts without thinking rationally or mindfully.

In my own personal life this kind of thinking tortured me for years and I remember journaling somewhere that I had to come to terms with this or it would drive me insane. As a kid, food was the excuse for my existence.  I was fat in elementary school and I was reminded of my girth on a daily basis from other kids, friends, family and teachers. People were so cruel to me and never left me alone.

I grew up thinking, living and knowing that fat was a part of my life that followed me around from sunrise to sunset. In fact when my weight escalated to over 300 pounds not only did I feel fat I was fat.  Most of the time I could not even look in the mirror because I was reminded of my enormous size.

After having a now or never rude awakening over 25 years ago I lost over 130 pounds, however my thinking needed a major adjustment because I still felt fat all of the time.  In fact, some days I felt fatter than when I weighed over 300 pounds.  No matter how small I was getting, I felt fat. I realized then that I was going to have to work on changing the negative way I felt about myself to a more positive me.

I am happy to say that after years of mental skills training, visualization and journaling I learned that I am much more than a three-letter word. Today, those negative words, “I feel fat” are rarely part of who I am.  

So, where does this thinking come from?  While it most certainly can start in childhood from parents who might be weight obsessed, it can also begin in elementary school, being labeled fat from other kids or even teachers. Girls can begin to believe that if they are not the perfect Barbie Doll there is something wrong and most likely begin to diet to lose weight. Some girls think they are fat at any size.  

Let’s face it; we all will begin to believe negative thoughts about ourselves when we are bombarded with messages that thinness and being skinny is better at any cost. Every time we look at magazines, newspapers, TV and Hollywood there is not an ounce of fat to be found and these venues dictate how most females think about themselves. When we do not fit that mold we begin to see ourselves as fat at any size.  If it does not match up to what we see, we internalize feelings that line up with unhappiness and we internalize feelings of I am not worthy.  

Is feeling fat the same as being fat?  Feeling fat is just what it says it is, a feeling. It won’t be reality unless you make it become your reality. While your feelings are your feelings, some of us are so driven by our feelings and emotions and if we're not careful, those misguided feelings can create issues that distract us, discourage us, and trigger past pain that starts taunting us. They can fill our minds with thoughts that are not accurate.  You cannot let your life, world and daily existence be driven by emotions, as you will then have no basis for reality.

Do I still have fat days? You bet I do! Today I know that is not my reality, it is only a passing challenge that I can either move out of the way or let beat me up.

Hugs,

Debra

Part 3 – another EXCERPT from Debra Mazda’s book ”EATING MY SECRETS” due out in Fall 2012.

I would drive by the gym every day and watch people going in and out all of the time. I would always wonder and say to myself, “What do they do in there?”

Back in the 70′s and 80s’ running had become a very popular way to get fit and lose weight. I would see people jogging and running and since they were all skinny I figured they were all doing something right to stay that way. I knew nothing about fitness, exercise or how to eat healthy, but deep down inside I knew a change was coming.

I sat in my car for about 3 weeks, all 300 plus pounds of me, thinking about going into that health club. I would just sit outside for the longest time and watch people go in and out wondering what they did, I was so curious. I remember my head saying “GET OUT OF THE CAR AND JUST GO UP THERE!”

Day after day I would tell myself to do it but I would panic and drove home. On one particular day, I remember it clearly, I made up my mind that today was the day, just do it — if I thought about it anymore my mind was going to explode.

Right there, something clicked inside of me and I knew it was either now or never. I think it might have been some kind of self-preservation instinct. I was being emotionally and mentally battered by my boyfriend and living around alcoholism, violence, anger and rage daily. After a really bad argument on New Year’s Day, he had thrown me out of the house in my underwear in freezing Denver weather and he locked all of the doors. My neighbors had to take me in and the humiliation was more than I could live with. A week prior to that, he had driven his car right through the garage door. It was time to make a change in my life!

Debra

Part 2 - another EXCERPT from Debra Mazda's book ”EATING MY SECRETS” due out in Fall 2012.

From as far back as I can remember my mother never asked me about what I ate despite the fact that my weight was escalating before her eyes. She never asked me where all the food had gone, never. This has always amazed me because when I do health/fitness coaching with women most of them tell me at some point their mother’s confronted them about their eating. Mine was just the opposite, she totally ignored this problem altogether. There would be bowls of candy around at any given time in my childhood. I can see the bowls as I write this. Every time I turned M&M’s, Reeses peanut butter cups and peanut chews were staring at me. When the candy was gone she would just fill the bowl up again.

Today, I realize that she was unconsciously sabotaging me and did not care enough about me to address this. If she wanted to be fat, then let her be fat and leave me alone! However, on her behalf I am not sure she knew how to address my life as she had her own issues to deal with that I was very unaware of at that time, even though at family dinners I ate as much as I wanted and the silence from my mother was putting me at a higher risk for the emotional death I would suffer in future years. My mother was gorgeous and always kept her weight down but she had a fat daughter. While she never came out and said she felt embarrassed, there were many times she made comments about my body and what I wore, but never about what I ate despite being enormous by age 10. It was never an issue.

Debra Mazda, Excerpt from “EATING MY SECRETS” due out Fall 2012

The Missing Link --- EXCERPT from ''EATING MY SECRETS" due out in Fall 2012.

We are a country obsessed with weight. We can't stop talking about it. "Carbs are making us fat. "Soda is making us fat. "Video games are making us fat. Oprah is losing weight, Oprah is gaining weight. The government has declared a war on obesity. The more we talk about it, the fatter we are becoming. But maybe part of the reason that we are losing the battle against obesity is because we have not adequately acknowledged the significance of trauma as a root cause of obesity. Largely missing from our public debate has been the recognition that trauma,  in particular sexual abuse and its after effects including anxiety, depression and other symptoms of POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER drive compulsive eating for millions of people. What we are learning from the fields of neuroscience, psychology, bariatric and social science is that the damage inflicted by trauma not only results in addictive eating but becomes part of a cycle that makes it nearly impossible for many survivors to lose weight and keep it off. 

EXCERPT from ''EATING MY SECRETS" due out in Fall 2012.

Weight Loss Challenge begins

On March 6th I began a ShapelyGirl Fitness Weight Loss Challenge with members of my fitness center. The Challenge will last 6 weeks. Ten women signed up. While all of them want to lose weight and inches I wanted to see how focused, committed and dedicated they would be so I added a point system where the top 2 winners will win a cash prize.

While percentage of weight and inches lost is a part of the challenge, participants can score points in 4 other categories including Exercise Classes, Food Charts, Journals and Circle Time.
Points can be accumulated as follows:

5 points for every exercise class taken at the ShapelyGirl Fitness studio
4 points for keeping a Food Chart
5 points for keeping a Journal
2 points for attending a Circle Time session at the ShapelyGirl Fitness studio (2 sessions given per week)

I want the participants to focus on what it takes to lose weight, safely and successfully, for long term results. So far I am happy to report everyone is working very diligently to score points. I will report on their progress weekly. I can say that so far they are excited and determined to change the way they think and act and we are breaking habits! Plus, who wouldn’t want to lose weight and inches and win cash?

Body Image - Part 1

Over the past 20 years while leading health/fitness and nutrition workshops and seminars I have had many conversations with women. I even had chances to strike up conversations with women at the supermarket and at nail salons. Through these conversations I keep coming up with the same conclusion…that most women still do not feel good about themselves no matter what they look like.

One would think that even with magazines such as Figure and Bombshell, which are both marketed and geared toward larger women, some of the problem would have diminished. But I do not see it that way. What I see is just the opposite, in that today women actually have more anxiety about their bodies and weight even though we are now celebrating the shapely, curvy and voluptuous woman.

I still think it has not truly entered the cognitive part of most women's thinking processes. In other words, it is all talk and no one seems to be buying it. Most women still want to be thin but they do not want to be a size 4. While today the average woman is a size 14, a size 6 seems to be where most women might feel worthy and whole about themselves.

Being labeled Curvy seems to sound like a disease in some circles. I have never read a magazine that coined the word SHAPELY about a celebrity without it sounding like a dreadful disease. No wonder hardly anyone feels good about themselves. Well, I am so happy to say that I love my curves and celebrate them every day! I am a size 12 and more comfortable in my skin today than I have ever been.

That is not to say at my highest weight of 300 plus pounds; I celebrated my body because I did not. But I also did not walk around hating myself every day. Yes, I was depressed and sad and life seemed hopeless for the large part, but I also knew that I needed to change my thinking patterns about myself.

While there is still a stigma attached to larger women, girls, wake up and embrace your body and curves! It is all in how you think about yourselves, not who dictates what you should or need to look like. Stop letting others tell you that unless you are a size 2 or 4 you should feel good about yourself. You probably will never achieve this fantasy.

Today, take a deep breath and celebrate not only the woman you are but the woman you are destined to be.

Hugs,
Debra