In a nutshell, I want to do cartwheels again!
I will from this day forward not focus on the look of my body, but rather what it can do. I truly believe that when I am strong, active, and leading the active lifestyle of my choice, everything will fall into place including the physical vessel. Long gone are the days of "physique". I want function!
There was a time not so long ago when I was doing cartwheels. I was able to run, jump, skip, and hop when I wanted. I wasn't small but I was mighty! It began to run amuck because I became so focused on the outer, not the inner. Obsessed is more like it. Eventually that led to today where I'm still trying to get back into a normal routine, but doing so without backsliding into obsession or compulsion is hard.
I walk a fine line.
My Goal, and again this is for ME, is I don't think it's important to worry any longer about what I look like. I just want to feel that sense of strength. To see progress made with the amount I can lift, the number of back extensions I can do, the more challenging pilates movements, and so on. I want to feel the raw power surging and I want to feel my heart pumping during a strong workout knowing I am working harder than the weeks prior, but yet, it's not as hard as it once was. I want to be strong enough to workout 6 days per week regardless if I choose 3, 5, or none. To me there is something so powerful in knowing I can do something even if it's not what I want to do. I could. If I really wanted.
How long will it take me to get there? It's hard to say. I have a general idea, but life has a funny way of working it's way regardless of one's plan. The point is to just give it my all regardless of what level I may be at right now. With time and persistence, it will come to fruition when it's meant to be. I am going to enjoy the ride and the work that I do. And one day, I'll wake up and be able to do those cartwheels almost unexpectedly.
Progress, not Perfection!
Julia
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