Should I get weighed every day?

Many years ago a personal training client of mine who eventually became a very close girlfriend revealed to me that as a teenager her mother made her get weighed everyday. She went on to tell me that she remembered this ritual like it was yesterday and that many of her eating, food and self esteem issues all revolved around that 3-5 minutes a day. Because of this she was paralyzed for many years and isolated herself from the outside world as it was hard for her to socialize and that her fear of overeating in public overwhelmed her. It seemed that her mother would constantly tell her that she needed to be thin in order to get a boyfriend and that men did not want fat women as wives, so her solution to thinness was to have her get weighed daily. Yes, that would do it! That was over 45 years ago but somehow today this thinking has not changed. Not the boyfriend or husband part but the part as to why we allow those numbers to dictate us and for most women they do. We live in a society where the majority of women still believe that what we weigh is our biggest problem and that somehow when we overcome those dreaded extra pounds life will get peachy and the marriage proposals will come flooding our front door. Today in most circles the underlying message is clear, be thin at any cost. But I ask, what is that cost? Most times it is emotional and mental torture. My friend talked to me extensively about her issues with food and that food was certainly not the nourishment she needed but the enemy that robbed her a healthy life. Now while you might say that this is an extreme case I ask you to think about your own eating and food issues. Do they revolve around getting weighed daily, once a week, once a month of perhaps you do not get weighed? For some women getting weighed it still a mental ritual, have good weigh in day, I feel great, a bad weigh in day, I feel horrible and I binge might even be on the horizon.. Think I am wrong, go sit in any controlled weight loss group such as weight watchers  and observe the members once they come off of the scale. Now I have nothing against weight watchers and I am talking about every women as there are some who have accepted that we are all not going to be a thin but we can all be healthy without letting the scale rule us.  Wherever you stand on this podium the fact remains that most women are ruled by the what they weigh and that list of reasons goes on and on. Although I have not seen my friend for quite some time as our lives took different paths  I sometimes wonder if she got the help she needed, or if she is still ruled by those 3 numbers on that  aluminum flatbed. So, when should you get weighed? That is up to you and while I have nothing against getting weighed just do not let it dictate who you are and rule your life! Have a blessed day!





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MOTIVATION, we all need it!

 Last week I ran into an old friend of mine who I had not seen for quite some time.  Upon seeing her again it was apparent that she had gained a lot of weight in the past year. Before I could give her a hug to say hello she disclosed to me about how horrible she felt and was almost in tears out of  sheer embarrassment.  Well, that hug turned out the more than a hello, that physical connection was to let her know that I could totally understand how she was feeling and take the pressure off  her at that moment. I did not want her to feel judged about these emotions so I began to share with her my own struggles that  revolved around weight obsession, emotional eating and negative body image . And while that thinking seemed so far behind me now at that very moment it seemed like yesterday when my mind and emotions were filled with anxiety, depression and  never ending chaos. With much anxiety she told me that she was so upset and embarrassed because she “let her go.”  by putting this weight on.  I told that she was not alone and that millions of women go through the same trauma every day but there is light at the end of the tunnel. While emotions might run deep now she was in the path of what could be colorful rainbow in her path and she needed to see it and reach for it.

 For many years I ate myself into a never ending trail of  denial and could not get my eating under control.  I remember years of insanity and how food was the only comfort that I relied on in a world of craziness. Some how  though when it hits you personally you are likely to think you are in this solo and that there is no one who understands. But for many they do GET IT  and are in a similar situations.  She confessed that she was feeling depressed and was desperate to lose the weight and get back into a fitness routine, the only problem was that she could not find the WILL to do it. She said she thought about it all of the time but somehow just could not get up and do it. Sound familiar?  Sure it does, as this happens to millions of women every day. The want is there but that is where it stops.  She was not sure how she gained this weight  but one day she woke up and there were more, hips, butts and thighs on her body. SOUND FAMILIAR? It did to me. While she laughed about it again I could see and feel her distress.  I remember that devastation of wanting to give up and waking up one day to more hips, thighs and belly and  how could I turn this around so I could look and feel better.  I wanted her to know she was not alone in this journey and that most who have issues with weight and eating could easily call it quits and just give up for a period of time. I remember having this conversation in my own head many times over the span of many years. I told her that now is NOT the time to  isolate but get support from those who will not judge or try to fix you. It is time to start over again and to move on and that I truly believed in her but she needed to believe not only in herself  but to know that she deserved to feel and look better. I told her that she was worth feeling better but would that make her begin to get on track. Now is the time to get up and begin again. 

Obesity and Alzheimer's Disease

Most of us know that obesity has been linked to a whole host of diseases such as diabetes, some cancers and cardio vascular disease. New research has just been documented that obesity is linked to Alzheimer disease as well.

Researchers specifically found that obesity in middle age predicts an earlier onset of Alzheimer disease, not only that but a higher burden of disease will be more severe when it hits. Some researchers in Baltimore who did a longitudinal Study of Aging looked at the midlife body mass index and Alzheimer’s, they also went further to look at the severity of the disease. The authors of this research study found that higher BMI in middle age (50 years of age) was associated with an earlier onset of Alzheimer disease as well as higher measures of the disease’s severity.

This contributed to more amyloid deposition which is a contributing factor of the onset Alzheimer disease in the brain of patients with a higher midlife BMI, as compared with those who had a healthy BMI at age 50. This indicates a more severe form of the disease. The researchers concluded that a healthy BMI at midlife may thus delay the onset of Alzheimer disease.

Some earlier studies have consistently shown that obesity is associated with dementia. In another study similar to the one above, but conducted in Eastern Finland, researchers followed patients for a total of 26 years, measuring their BMI at an average age of 50 as well as later, at an average age of 71. The researchers observed which patients developed dementia later in life, and found that, again, higher midlife BMI was associated with a higher risk of dementia and Alzheimer disease. You should know that dementia are symptoms associated with memory loss and confusion while Alzheimer is a  disease where thinking is impaired and behavior changes are dramatically caused by changes in the brain. We do know that dementia can sometimes be a precursor to Alzheimer’s disease. An analysis study from Swedish researchers concluded that “both overweight and obesity at midlife independently increase the risk of dementia and Alzheimer disease.” Some studied also concluded that diabetes, which is an obesity-related disorder, may lead to an earlier onset of dementia. With all of this evidence it is safe to say that overweight and obesity at midlife puts one at a higher risk of developing dementia as well as an earlier onset of Alzheimer disease.

The issue for anyone who is in midlife is that this is a time when many baby boomers have a tendency to gain weight, as metabolism slows down a bit, and they might not be moving as much as they should. With this in mind it is clear to see how utterly important it is to get off of the couch and move your body on a daily basis, we need to live a more active lifestyle and eat more nutritious foods that are good for us and will maintain brain function in our golden years. As we mature and get older keeping your body as well as you mind healthy is the sure way to longer life!

 

Winter Eating, YOU need to say Sane!

Fall is upon us and as the weather begins to change so do our eating habits and for most waistlines can and do expand. Yes, we tend to eat more richer and oh so heartier foods in the winter and for some the pounds begin to pile on and the tendency is to ignore this and worry about it come spring. Let's face it, in the winter we cover our bodies from head to toe with boots, sweaters and big and bulky clothes, I mean really who sees our bodies and with that thinking comes more I just will worry about it later and so we start eating desserts, chocolate and donuts that might be in the office.  Some women tell me that they do not even get pedicures till the spring time comes around, who sees their feet. While summer brings more craving for lighters foods such as salads and smoothies in the winter we tend to want more heartier foods such as stews, chili and meatloaf with mashed potatoes. Yummy!  Think about it, what  happens months before the summer even arrives.  In April some women and a few men tend to start on some crazy quick loss diets wanting to shed that winter weight. They cut out that winter food they enjoyed and now get on a regime of tons of water, maybe skipping meals and stressing out in order to lose weight and get into a bathing suit and shorts. That factored in with so many are much more active in the warmer months by  running, hiking and biking, taking vacations to warmer climates, hanging out at the local beaches eating a lot of our meals at outside cafes and restaurants. Yes, we want to lose weight rapidly to get into that bathing suit and feel comfortable. In the winter months who does not want to curl up on the couch in our pj's before it gets dark outside and just vegetate. My friend Diane and I  had this conversation not too long ago, she told me she tends to stay in over the winter months, every year puts on a few pounds but this year she has promised herself to stay more active and get out more. She does not want to isolate like previous years. I was curious as to how she would do this and she said she has joined some groups that are active all year long and she will make every effort to join them because isolating herself  leads to sadness and depression. She will also get a workout in daily and force herself to do it.  Great idea, Diane I hope you are listening?. YOU need to stay active in the winter, get to the gym, put in a SHAPELYGIRL FITNESS DVD and let us motivate you when is it freezing outside  and not feel sorry for yourself that it is cold outside and for heavens sake do not sit and sulk and EAT! This is the year you will not hibernate like a bear in a cave. Yes, while it is more comforting to  stay indoors and either read a good book, watch TV or play on the internet  then get to the gym for a workout  this year it is time to get up and off of that couch and move your body.  So, with all of that said  it stands to reason that with the change of climate comes a different way of eating and cooking. Here is what I have learned after many years of working with women in all seasons of the year. YOU do not have to gain weight in the winter as a lot of women do. First you need to control yourself and now is the time to get ready for the winter months. Plan and prepare and do what you need to do till spring gets here again.  Oh and did I mention in all of this the holidays creep in and then most of us can go insane for 6 weeks.....NO, NO, NO this is the year of your WINTER SANITY, who is with me?

Enjoying the darkness!

Now that the weather is changing with mornings becoming chillier and the sun is taking forever to shine in the early morning I am finding it harder to get moving. Years ago I could open my eyes and in a flash I would be out the door doing something that involved any fitness activity such as running, biking and training for the next race or even teaching a fitness class but alas today I would rather enjoy the morning and stay in the moment. I have always been a morning person and while I still love the early mornings, at his point in my life I do not feel the need to burn out before 9am. Today, I have slowed down and adjusted my life to enjoy the peacefulness and calmness of life in the wee hours of the morning and I must admit I love it. What a moment of life I am living these days. While I still get up  between 5-6am I love to be quiet and enjoy what the day may bring. Prayer is how I like to start my mornings and taking the time to read scripture while just enjoying that simple cup of coffee. I am finding that I love to start my day this way. Yes, I can honestly say that  I no longer feel the need to run out the door for fear of not getting it all in. The other day I actually had a thought "I will get to the world when I get there".  Wow, what a difference from the younger woman I remember I was many years ago. I want to feel the days as I mature in life. While I still have a lot of energy and look forward to the future and the new journey that I am looking forward to with a lot of hope I am beginning to see the world around me and how fast it is moving but I am choosing to slow down to see who and what is around me. I do not know about you but in the past few years I have been questioning my existence, my passion, my life and what is happening in the world. Here is what I am learning about my life while waiting for the next move. First, enjoy the moment for what it is. Then while  waiting for the next journey do what you can to improve our passion in where you are going. Be patient and above all follow the dream~ Hey, I have to go, I am running out the door to teach a class! Be Blessed~

We are in an epidemic!

I think that most of us on some level have some understanding that obesity is linked to major health problems including hypertension, diabetes, joint problems and even cancer. Study after study results in the same prognosis, in order to live longer and happier keep your weight managed, eat better and reduce stress. Obesity can be a  major health threat no matter how you look at it. Two-thirds of people with binge eating disorder are obese or 2 out of every 3 people and that is a lot of  unhealthy humans. Constantly eating a lot of food faster than your body can burn off the calories will surely put the pounds on, this is not rocket science just basically some poor choices that need to be changed in order to live a healthy life.  Research tells us that excessive body weight is definitely associated with all kinds of medical problems and yet some  just think that the magic diet such as cleansing, smoothies and starving themselves is the key to happiness.  Wrong, this thinking is a crap shoot and the odds are stacked against you. Let's get serious for a moment ~ Take a deep breathe and repeat after me I NEED TO TAKE CARE OF ME! That means moving your body, eating 80 percent of your daily calories from good foods that are good for you and while we cannot avoid daily stress some of us need to learn how to deal with it. Mediation, Pilates and even Yoga can clear out the brain if only for a short time. However the biggest issue that needs to be addressed is the reason that we feel the need to abuse, stuff and purge our bodies as well as our minds. This behavior of emotional eating only to put on the pounds  is so complicated, this is not a magic pill you swallow and you are instantly reformed, no it is so deep and as of today science nor the fitness industry has been able to stop the increased rate of  obesity and the stats are showing us it will only get worse. We are at an all time high of fatness in this country and all of us need to take a step back and look at our lifestyle and how we live our lives. Eating for emotional reasons, stress and some of our lifestyles are making us CRAZY! I am urging you today to really begin to evaluate your life and if you need to change then begin to make SMALL changes for a healthier future!

FEELING SHAME~

The dictionary says that SHAME is a painful feeling of humiliation, distress or a painful emotion resulting from an awareness of inadequacy or guilt.  I think we can all understand how devastating  feeling SHAME would be for anyone who might experience it. This is exactly what happens when lives become undone because of some behavior that is not considered the norm. We seem to look, act and behave different. Most of the time SHAME stems from a past that follows us no matter how we hide it. For the overweight/obese person who experiences SHAME perhaps they were made fun of by siblings, parents, teachers or even neighbors. Kids in school could have bullied them and then that SHAME is acerbated because they are reminded of how imperfect they are carrying around a bigger body and not wearing a size 4 dress size. One of my clients who always felt SHAMEFUL over herself told me years ago, she would cut off her right arm to be thin. I can still remember that conversation and how horrible I felt listening to her say those words to me. As a professional women she felt that her weight was the biggest issue to overcome and she could not get a grasp on it. She tried every program and diet on the planet and yet she could never get to a comfortable weight and it became humiliating to her.  Everything she did in life revolved around her body and how she felt about herself and her constant dream of being thin.  Her attitude was very common among overweight women who felt that if they lost weight that SHAME would go away but sadly for most it does not. Losing weight is only the first step to a deep rooted emotional feeling.  I have been working with women for years in groups or individually and SHAME is one emotion that I not only hear them talk about  but it shows in how they feel about themselves. I cannot tell how devastated this makes me feel because all women are worthy of feeling good not matter what size or how much they weigh.


 We live in a visual society where women are judged by the way they look, what size they wear and how much they weigh. We want to pretend that looks and size do not matter but we all know they do. Most kids learn from childhood that being fat is like a disease. There are studies that I have read saying that some kids would pick a bully over an overweight classmate to be a friend. What have we come to in this society?. Overweight kids can sometimes feel SHAME from as early as kindergarten and it is can be overwhelming to them.
 As the world looks to Hollywood and the modeling industry for it's moral compass the devastation of feeling SHAME escalates for most overweight people. In a society where the average size is 14 but the modeling industry keep reminding us that a size 4 is the norm no wonder why women feel so  emotionally and mentally negative up about themselves.


 As a young girl, I always felt SHAME and disappointment in my life. In fact, I  cannot remember a time when I did not feel SHAME in my childhood right into  early adulthood. The SHAME of being sexually abused  from those who were suppose to be on my side and from parents who should have been protecting me, the SHAME of being from a broken family, the SHAME of my mother being asked to leave the catholic church because she was divorced, the SHAME of being fat my entire childhood but more so the SHAME of never fitting in and living a life that I felt was headed no where. Growing up the world around me looked very shattered, distorted and broken so I never felt whole. There was always something wrong or missing in my life for many years. Because my life was so toxic and spiraling downwards comfort is what I needed and it needed it immediately. Since I had no sense of family I began to turn to what was readily available and that was FOOD! Well, that was many years ago and today while I cannot say I still feel SHAME I certainly have come to grips with who I am and that my weight does not define who I am nor will I let it empower me in my life! 

Hugs, DEBRA

New Beginnings of HOPE~

Many times in my life I have gone through periods of doubt, turmoil, fear and uncertainty and some how I got past them without being crushed emotionally, however over the past three years it seemed harder to shake them off.  This time those feeling and emotions had such a  grip on me at times I was beginning to have serious negative thinking about my life that was not part of my plan. Prior to feeling such anxiety, I had always been the motivated, uplifted and inspired women that other women looked up and listened to. I was the go to girl who was always on top of being positive even in the trenches of life but the death of my dearest friend Gere, turning sixty, moving and starting a new job was so overwhelming. I could feel things beginning to unravel but I put them on the back burner. In 2012, after weeks of me believing for a total healing, I lost my dearest friend Gere who I met at age fourteen, we were pinky blood  sisters born on the same day. We met in the cafeteria as freshmen in high school and remained friends till she took her last breath. The pain of her death gripped me so tight that I could sometimes feel myself being strangled. The question of WHY was always on my mind. I would think about it, ponder on it,  journal about it and yet could not find any relief as my heart ached over this loss I felt.  Losing Gere was like losing a sister we were that connected. While  I never understood the WHY of it all God says we are to trust him and that is how I made it through the past three years. Gere was my go to girl when I needed to lean on someone. Gere and I bounced every issue off of each other that women talk about such as relationships, love and family and even retirement. We sometimes just checked in and other days we would  go deep with life in conversation.  Turning sixty was also a big milestone for me somehow, fifty nine was great but sixty sounded well so old.  I had run my last half-marathon at fifty five and now I was turning sixty. Say it isn't so. I had a total meltdown  as I approached that day that put me into orbit most nights with tears and feelings of frustration and lonliness that I had not experienced since I was a kid. Gere and I had planned on celebrating our sixtieth birthday on a mini vacation, as we both turned sixty on the same day but she was not around and frankly I lost all interest in turning sixty alone. I then took a job that took my out of the Philadelphia area and I put my business on the back burner to persue a new venture that did not work out. While this was rough transition I do believe it gave me rest time that I needed and a clear vision about what I needed to do with my life. While  I could not bring Gere back or get any younger I could move forward in my life and get back to my passion, helping women and that is exactly what the future holds for me. Today I am so hopeful, more motivated and feel so inspired to move forward free from fear and anxiety. I am certainly not saying I will no longer have the challenges, set backs and mountains to move somewhere in the future but I can this, without HOPE there is no future for any of us. I am GRATEFUL for NEW BEGINNINGS OF HOPE~

DIETING, DIETING, and more DIETING, Will I ever feel better?

Every day millions of women are on  a "DIET" or looking for that perfect weight loss program in order to feel better about themselves. For most women the learning curve of feeling great centers around how much they weigh and what they look like. For centuries women have been clamoring to find the perfect avenue to thinness and a slender body. Losing weight makes some women feel like they won an Oscar, while for others the satisfaction of weight loss is only a band aid to a bigger ailment. Most times it is not about weight but about a history of learning at an early age that we somehow are never being good enough leading us to feel unworthy about our bodies and the cure for that is to be thin. This mindset creates a negative view of oneself that even the most educated would not be able to contain rationally. Feeling like you failed  is then only a thought away and making a women feel like she has committed a crime. I have been working with women and running groups for over 20 years and I repeatedly hear the phrase I was "BAD" today. Did you  committ a crime and now you should be punished? Tell me, exactly what crime was committed? Most women are trained to think negatively about ourselves from the first cookie that ever goes close the mouth. This behavior and thinking then resonates into I cannot control myself and therefore I am a horrible women and need to hate and loathe myself.  In a society that stresses body perfection anyone can see how this happens without us even thinking about it. What an emotion disaster.  This is the emotionally  harmful aspect of dieting and fooling around with what I call "DAMAGING DIETING". Yes, we tend to think that the fault lies within us and and that the only answer is to try to figure out what we did wrong. Diet's not only are restrictive and controlling but long term they are so damaging psychologically. They make any women feel like she did  something wrong instead of understanding that one remedy does not work for all of the population that it is suppose to service.  Women have been told for centuries that we are just not good enough as we are and we need to be prettier, thinner and more successful to feel great about who we are. Most women think that dieting is the answer to all of their problems. If a women can just lose weight she somehow will feel ok about herself, more approved, loved and accepted by family, friends and society.

None of the newest DIETS, shakes, powders, pills, cleanses, workouts or whatever else is popular today will work LONG TERM. You have to come to grips with  the WHY's of eating. . Many years ago I learned that if  I let my past rule my present then my future would suffer until I came to terms with the issues that were controlling my BINGING, CRAVINGS AND OVEREATING. I learned being MINDFUL about my behaviors has worked wonders for me over the past 20 plus years the more I practice it the better my health and wellness became, it was just that simple. Initially, realizing that I needed to  DIVORCE what I thought I could not live without became OVERWHELMING, however after many years of enjoying great health and feeling terrific was so gratifying and really helped to look at every day as a new possibility in life.  It is so important that you are in touch with yourself so that you make better choices. Using MINDFUL techniques in any decision in life is really knowing what you need and works for you but using it for health purposes will make your life feel AMAZING because you are in control of yourself~

Gratitude for 2015

  As the New Year begins, women everywhere will be bombarded with posts, emails, and even texts focusing on all sort of quick weight loss promising beauty, thinness, and look younger instantly. While others will be hearing about the latest workout on how to get you in shape with six packs abs in days and have the body of your dreams in no time. All kinds of crazy and unhealthy diets, cleanses, clean eating, shakes, workout programs, all geared to deplete your wallet as well as make your goals initially seem realistic but eventually become unattainable. Once that happens, a lot of women will most likely spiral down with a negative mindset and on a path to quitting, giving up and feel like a failure. This does not have to be. It is time to women to find freedom and happiness from all of this emotional stress from all of these messages. As many of you know, I have devoted my adult life to helping women to lose weight, get fit and healthy, eat better and feel better about themselves. While I still love what I do, years ago I came to the conclusion both professional as well personally that good health, weight loss and fitness is and HAS to be a year round commitment. Then you will begin to be FREE to have a happier, healthier body as well as a healthy emotional state of wellbeing. This is not any easy fix, it is a lifestyle that you have to make a commitment to you to do your very best and on those days you cannot, you weather the storm, hang tight and begin again next time. Life is filled with ups and downs but it is vitally important for you to stay focused and walk thru the valley only to come out of the tunnel. 

 I have been preaching this for years and still stand by this practice and passion I have today. However, the research is now clear. The commercial weight loss industry has actually contributed to making you stay overweight and unhealthy in many ways. Diets promise a better you but we all know that diets are not the way to a happy, healthy life. What you need to do is have a sound judgment and make choices that work for you every day. The portions at restaurants as enormous, you are tempted in every way, it is becoming socially acceptable in a lot of circles to be overweight and so more people are at a higher weigh compared to 20 years ago. The stress you face daily can add to overeating and bingeing so mindlessly you eat at the first sign of any distress. Women have had battles with food for years but I have noticed it now increasing as commercials, magazines and TV are telling you that you need to be thin and beautiful. Got a wrinkle, your local salesperson on QVC and HSN will help you to get rid of it thus making you feel better. Get the newest workout and let that solved all of your problems. Really, if it only were that easy. Let’s get real about this, you need to accept yourself with the belief that you will work towards becoming a better you every day. YOU will eat as best you can, YOU will get exercise in and you will begin to feel GRATITUDE FOR WHO YOU ARE. As this year comes in, take time to stop and be grateful for your life.